How to be Brave
I was in my weekly meeting with my Artist’s Way group about 2 weeks ago and we were diving deep into our experience around chapter / week 9: Recovering a Sense of Compassion.
For this particular meeting, we each reflected and shared the moments and experiences in our lives where we were on a path to allowing the world to see who we really were, perhaps on the brink of a creative or personal breakthrough / uplevel / win and out of fear (fear of being seen / fear of success / fear of failure / fear of being judged/hurt), we self-sabotaged or abandoned ourselves and/or the opportunity.
At some point in the conversation when we dove deeper into our emotional blocks behind our “Creative U-Turns”, my friend Alex brilliantly dropped the quote framed at the top of the page:
“Bravery is the courage to be yourself.”
That quote has stuck with me for the last 2 weeks because within its simplicity is a profound truth.
In a world that is so often imposing its ideas on who we are “supposed” to be and what we are “supposed” to be doing, it is a radical act to not only discover who you really are but to then share that with the world (or at least your communities).
For many of us, especially marginalized folx and anyone who identifies outside of any form of binary thinking and existing, the trauma of not feeling safe to be our authentic self can exist from this lifetime and from lifetimes before; from present day experiences as well as ancestral experiences.
Regardless of identity, the trauma of not feeling safe to be ourselves exists within all humans. It is a fundamental need to want to be seen, heard and understood by those around us.
And the truth is that those needs are often not met (especially in our younger years) and at some point in our life we internalized that pain, we stored those moments as triggers in our nervous system (often unconsciously), and we tell ourselves: “it’s not safe to be me.”
We then begin to live our life outside of ourselves. We start wearing the masks to fit in. We get the job we think is “right”, we start caring about the things that are deemed “normal”, we hide our quirks and weirdness, we stifle our creativity. We begin to live as “another” with the false hope that will create more safety.
All the while our soul - the truth of who we are - is dying on the inside, waiting to be seen, held and expressed as the magical self that it is.
If you think you are not an actor, think again because we all are. We all pretend at some point. Our life can turn into one giant performance, convincing the world we are any character besides the one that counts the most: ourselves.
We avoid self-reflection, we turn the big opportunity down, we self-sabotage and we “miss” a deadline, we “forget” to email that person back or create false busyness to distract ourselves from personal clarity.
So, when we actually do get an opportunity to be in alignment with our path, our purpose, our creativity, our magic, we often doubt that it’s “real” because we are so used to living outside of our ourselves. We believe that the mask - the other character - is the right one.
My good friend Brionna Ned talks about this phenomenon and brilliantly reframes it as what Imposter Syndrome actually is - the moments in our life when we are genuinely living our personal truth, or at least have the opportunity to do so. Because we are so used to living outside of that authentic self in this crazy simulation of a world we live in, we experience this as discomfort and instead of understanding that discomfort as what it is, transitional dissonance, we believe we are being frauds.
That’s why true bravery is the courage to not only be ourself but to live and act in alignment with that Self because more times than not......that's not what's happening......and it really takes something to shift.
Bravery will look different for everyone. What is brave for me may not be brave for you.
We need your bravery because the world needs your most magical self. This is how we heal individually and collectively. This is how we make our individual dreams and collective visions for liberation a reality.
This is an ongoing practice that takes healing and expanding the nervous system; re-wiring those triggers that say "it's not safe to be me" and creating space and safety for our authentic self to live and thrive.
It also takes action and patience - baby steps - to have our external world match our internal world; to make sure we're playing the right character in the right performance (can you tell I'm really getting into my acting classes 🙃?).
Lastly, we need a strong foundation. We are deep into Aries season right now with the big energy being “I AM……..”. And to know who “I AM” is without all the masks takes self-reflection and knowledge.
To help you on your journey and ways to embody your own version of bravery, I’ve included a few resources for self-discovery and personal transformation below.
Sending you much love and courage,
Bianca
Reflect
What does being brave mean to me?
If I was the bravest version of myself, who would that be? (what are the specific qualities, traits and emotions)
If I was the bravest version of myself, what would I do?
Who are the people and what are the places that support this Higher Self? How can I orient my life to include more of this?
What are some baby steps that I can take today to support the vision of myself and my life that is unfolding?
Affirmations
**I recommend tapping while saying these
It is safe to be me.
It is safe for me to dream big.
I am worthy of my wildest dreams.
Taking action on my dreams heals myself and others.
I am an Artist and my life is my greatest work.
Listen
Reframing Imposter Syndrome by Brionna Ned
Learn
Do you know your Human Design? (I am a Projector!). When you know who you are, your reality will eventually begin to match up. The Human Design System is a synthesis of ancient and modern sciences, providing you with simple yet effective tools to enhance your life, and reduce confusion, stress and resistance. It is essentially your own navigation tool.
Read
I'm reading The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, for the second time in 4 years and it is changing my entire life (again) which I will be writing more about
I recommend this for anyone looking to come into closer proximity to their joy, expansion, clarity and their True Self through unlocking their creativity and the recovery of their Inner Artist