This past week in my Corporate to Creative cohort we focused on relationship patterns, energy dynamics and energetic cords.
If you are unfamiliar with energetic cords, you can think of them as invisible tubes connecting us to another person (or thing) with energy flowing to us and from us.
When we have healthy cords running between us and another there is a sense of clarity, resonance and we are generally left feeling energized (or at least supported) by the dynamic.
When we have unhealthy cords there can be a sense of exhaustion, confusion, resentment and a whole other range of challenging emotions.
During the session’s meditation, I asked them to identify the relationships in their lives that felt healthy and the ones that felt unhealthy or draining and to notice what happened to the body as they reflected.
Where could they feel the cords in their body? What emotions showed up?
I then took them through a simple cord cutting ritual to help begin to identify and release the unhealthy connections to that person.
Afterwards, one of the participants asked a question that feels like a theme right now in my communities, my clients’ lives and my own life.
The question she essentially asked was:
“how do I manage my energy in environments or with people that feel draining?”
I get this question a lot and my first question that I get curious about is, “what exactly feels draining about the person and/or the dynamic?”
This client was specifically discussing her experience with her work environment and her co-workers and the question above was the exact one I asked back to her.
Here are a few things she described as to what was feeling draining:
“A misalignment with what I would like to be doing”
“Power dynamics with supervisors that are taking advantage of that relationship”
“I don’t have agency of voice”
“I have to just go along with the relationship”
I validated that some of those things were rooted in larger systemic issues that are foundational in corporate america and unfortunately mostly out of her control.
However, what we began to explore was what actually was in her control.
We looked at how often her energy was being sent towards wanting and wishing her environment and her co-workers to be different than what they were vs. accepting them for what they were and managing her energy and her actions appropriately from that place.
, does that sound familiar to you (professionally or personally)?
I think it can be very easy, especially as a highly sensitive person, to say “this person / thing is draining me” or “this person is an energy vampire.”
Believe me, those things can definitely be true but they don’t necessarily give us much power to make a change or take ownership over what’s happening on our end of the street - like looking at what’s going on with our nervous systems and our own energy in relationship to them.
The thing about energy cords is that they need two people or two things to exist/connect to and *we* are one of those things.
So when I think about or talk about “energy leaks” in our lives, most of the time it’s not just some random thing that is happening “to” us.
It’s something we can actually do something about by making changes on our end.
For a lot of people lately, myself included, that has looked like examining the relationships or the dynamics that are no longer supportive but for some reason are still being clung to (familiarity, comfort, perceived safety).
If we tune into some of those dynamics that no longer feel healthy, the first thing we can ask ourselves is “why doesn’t this feel good to me?”
Some questions to consider might be:
Am I giving too much / in an unbalanced way?
Am I holding an expectation (vs. dealing with the reality) of what I will receive from this?
Am I giving in a way that doesn’t align with / respect who I am or my own energy?
Does the dynamic remind me of something or someone from the past that is unresolved (and may need further healing)?
Is this a relationship or a dynamic I want to give to anymore?
The most important thing to remember about energetic boundaries or implementing any type of boundary is that it’s first and foremost for us, not something we do to someone else, which is why we can always start by looking inwards.
Once those questions have been answered, we can clear any stuck energy or underlying unresolved issues that are keeping the dynamic or unhealthy cord in place from our end using trauma informed tools like EFT or an Energetic Hygiene session .
From this place, the appropriate action or conversation can happen in a way that better honors your authentic energy, closes the energy leak and shifts (or ends) a draining relationship dynamic that no longer serves you. It might not be immediate, but this is how we take back our agency and own our energy.
It feels worth noting that cutting/releasing cords with someone or something doesn’t necessarily mean you are “cutting” that person or thing off (although it might!). It does mean you are empowering yourself by creating dynamics that are the most supportive and nourishing for you.
You deserve to have access to all of your energy and when you continuously evaluate your relationships and their cord health, practice regular energetic hygiene and take consistent, aligned action…….you’ll be amazed at how your life (and relationships) shift.
Sending you lots of love,
Bianca
P.s - If you’re looking for support with your energy management and not sure which offering makes the most sense for you, you can set some time up with me here.
