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You hate asking others to do things for you.
You hate asking for help.
You hesitate to ask a question that implies the slightest sense you may need something from someone in some degree.
For many of us this is what we experience on a nearly daily basis. We carry around a burden of resistance to asking anyone for anything because one of the filters of our lives is that we believe ourselves to be a burden to others.
As young children we lived fully. We laughed, we cried, we made art, we played, we had imaginations and we had big dreams. We could often see a life and world beyond what was the “reality” in front of us.
We lived from our hearts because that’s what felt natural to us. We lived from our intuition and that’s what guided our actions because we trusted it and we trusted our hearts.
But over time, whether through one traumatic experience or a series of smaller micro-experiences, that connection and that trust in our heart began to break.
To protect ourselves from the judgements of others, the pain of disappointing others (or ourselves) amongst other things, we began to trust the mind over the whispers of our soul. Over time our lives and who we started developing into began to reflect that shift. We began to live by “shoulds” instead of our soul desires and the connection to our hearts grew weaker and weaker.
The journey for many of us in this life is restoring that connection and allowing those whispers to shape our lives instead of the often loud voices of the thoughts in our head.
Starting today, are you able to take some time, if only a few moments, to slow down enough to exit the chaos of the mind and enter into the clarity of your heart? To stop doing and allow yourself to be? To feel your breath and your own heart beat? This is the beginning of discovering both the peace and the answers you so desperately seek.
It may seem like an oxymoron these days, but despite the rampant use of social media , many of us live hidden lives.
This is not a new or revolutionary thought but despite our near constant updates on what’s going on with our daily lives, many of us still hide our realities from the world; but more importantly, and what can often be more destructive, is that we hide the reality from ourselves.
"Jekyll and Hyde"
“Light and Dark.”
“Good and Bad.”
It may go by different names but it all comes back to the same universal concept: there is an inherent duality to all of our natures.
And there is absolutely no problem with that.
I repeat, there is no problem with having opposing sides exist within us. The problem only arises when we make it so; when we ourselves say it is a problem that our bodies can be a home to many contradicting forces.
Most of us have defining moments in our lives when we can look back and there is a clear line of distinction. There was life before these moments and then there was life after these moments. Whether we realize it or not, these moments changed us.
They made a mark on us and altered the way we see ourselves, our relationships and the world around us.
It doesn’t matter if you can remember them or not but I promise you they’re there. It’s the reason you are the way you are, see yourself and life through a certain filter and most likely the reason you experience the same challenges over and over and over again.
It was a beautiful sunny Sunday a couple of weeks ago and I spent 75% of it crying my eyes out.
I was crying because I was massively grieving. I was grieving bigger concepts like death and the very difficult realization of my parents’ aging alongside the immense pain, suffering and injustice this world seems to on the brink of exploding from.
I was grieving the smaller more selfish things like fully realizing I can never go back to the innocent and free days of my childhood and at the same time wishing I knew what the f**k I’m doing with my life. I was even grieving how I could possibly reach my grapes without getting up from my lawn chair (kidding…..kind of).
